sharing life
it was a good day. we woke up and he went out so we all ate breakfast together and looked on Amazon haul. the deals there are actually crazy, idk how they get it so cheap. but I tried it anyway, I ordered this mini water kettle, this striped beanie, and screen protectors for my phone and my steam deck. and that came to less than 20 bucks before tax. idk I'm still gonna keep my eyes on it, especially the "import fees" but if these things really do come in like I expect, I guess I'm gonna be hauling in more stuff lmao. like sure it's addicting, but I'll have you know most of my stuff were stuff I kinda need, and at a good price. like a 7 dollar hot water kettle is fantastic. and a 4 dollar beanie is a steal. I was going to try ordering some electronics but we'll see, next time.
today we went to Michael's to get my acrylic paints and canvas for my painting I'm gonna do for my brother. really hope the colors work out, if they do, they're gonna pop. it's pretty good, 15 bucks for 4 big ass canvases and 6 bottles of 2oz acrylic, 78 cents each.
Then we checked out home goods that Marshall's lookin store, just got some tea and my brother found some snoopy stuff.
Then, petco lol. I loved the guinea pig and rats and betta fish. I really want to take care of one.
Then we ate at a burger place mom went to years ago. and talked to grandma and my uncle.
and finally qfc, the quietest qfc I've ever been to. idk why I feel so safe there. I'm just used to the windows being broken and trash everywhere.
I had fun today though. actual fun. going through Amazon haul with mom and my brother, Michael's clearance, and the petco animals.. I was really enjoying myself. I cracked jokes every other minute. there were these glow fish and I said they looked like the roller rink, cuz of the UV light, and told my brother that's why theyre glowing. and those pesky little reptiles, I forget what they were called. one was following my brother's vest. also why was that fish "OOPS!" clearance 😭 I wish I could save him. and the hamster, I love the hamster. his house was filled with bedding 🐹😂 and then telling mom and my brother about how they love to burrow deep inside the bedding.
Idk, I just love to share fun things like that. it's what interests me. animals have their own little unique quirks.
not once today was I stressed or depressed. I was able to forget about everything troubling me and just live my life. that's really special to me, and at that, spending time with family important to me, never feeling like I'm lesser or a burden. it's days like these I live for, really.
the thing is, you just don't know when they come. I thought I was gonna have a boring old day but going to those places ended up being a lovely time with where the white people are. it's that much calmer and nicer there. it's crazy lol. anyway, I seriously have more rational leverage over my negative thoughts.
for one, I know I want to live to see what I can create. but also, the experiences I could be having with people important to me are invaluable. if i have reasons to live, make them some of these. if I'm gone, I won't be able to share any hamster facts. and my family won't have any reason to go to Michael's anymore.
This is the kind of "life" I'm talking about. "sharing life" doesn't have to be purely material, it can hold shape in experiences one finds valuable.
I learned to cook yaki udon in college, because I loved this anime where the main character could cook yaki udon. it's stuff like that I'm talking about.
we attach connections to brands, things, items, activities just because someone important to us loves it too. like how my mom loves coke because her Dad always did. or, my brother, idk how he remembered that I like Murakami Haruki, finding that book on Amazon. it made me feel like someone really cared about what I liked.
I guess this is how you're supposed to feel in a good relationship. I feel valued simply from the other person taking interest in me and remembering what I like and don't like and whatever.
wow I'm learning. slowly. from the ground up.
I was also thinking too, is Pureum really autistic? like, in the webtoon she looks up on google how to approach some social situations so I thought yeah for sure she's on the spectrum. but then I think about myself.. I had to look up how to talk to people all the time. no I'm definitely autistic 💀 it's just gonna take me a while to figure out in having more conversations with people.
I'm just so hyped for my steam deck bro. I'm gonna be on that thing all day.