thanks for reaching out
I feel like other people maybe have a bigger impact on me than I do on them. I adore humanity, so I tend to hold on to whoever and whatever I can. The memories, experiences, and feelings I share with another person affect me so much. They help me change and grow, molding me into a better version of myself. I think other people are so wonderful and valuable and special, even if they weren’t the nicest to me. I think about them often, and am always thankful for the time we had together. Or, at the very least, thankful for the lessons I learned from them. A part of me will miss them forever; once you’re important to me, you stay that way, however much. I still have love for everyone I’ve ever cared about, all circumstances aside. But I can’t imagine anyone feeling the same in regards to me. It’s like I’m a speck of dust on the floor of a big house, something to overlook. A word in their vocabulary that isn’t spoken often. A fleeting moment that they won’t dwell on. A temporary character, someone they’re ready to leave behind. I can’t fathom someone remembering me once we exit each other’s lives, like all I am is forgettable. It doesn’t bother me too much, I guess, because you’re supposed to move on. That’s how it is. I just hope the people I’ve met got something positive or meaningful out of their time with me.
Idk if I'm in the position to say this, but you made an impression on me unlike anyone I've met before.
I remember telling you that I've been really quiet my whole life and never really made efforts to put myself out there. I withdrew myself from society and tried to reduce the amount of relationships I had, to the point where I wouldn't talk to anyone for the entire day. Once I had done that, I was no one. I believed that I was a person of nothing; I felt like a "background friend" that had friends, but no one around him- Which is why I resonated with that line, "A temporary character, someone they’re ready to leave behind," because I knew that any relationship I made would eventually diminish after a short while. It was futile to make friends with anyone. Although being a sheltered in loser with no life experience, meeting you and seeing how friendly, and how cool you were opened my eyes to just how many nice people there are out there in the world- if I just go out there and try to talk to people.
Meeting you changed my perspective on people and relationships in general. I recognized how important it is to value them. How important it is to just be kind. Share your experiences, happy or sad. And that it probably takes skill to cultivate these pure, wholesome relationships- something I don't quite have yet. But still, in turn I made more, smaller efforts to try to talk to people. I know it sounds dumb but meeting just one person really did change my mindset on things, and I know I won't be forgetting you for a while.
I guess I just wanna say thanks. For those little talks we had after class, thanks. Thank you for inviting me out to eat and to your birthday party (even though I didn't get to go). Thanks for asking me to borrow my Psych notes that one day. If you hadn't done that we wouldn't have met.
Good luck out there. Keep on cooking. Don't get your debit card information get stolen again. Never, never give up even if things get tough at your job again.
Be that psychologist you aspire to be. Help people with all the problems they have jumbled up in their mind. People need you. You have a way with words, and I'm sure you will make positive impacts on many, many more people out there.